Thursday, August 14, 2008

Raw Fu Challenge Day 14

I said goodbye to my friend, who's moving to Boulder, CO, this morning. She cried, but oddly, I didn't. I've been wondering what these new feelings are. Or at least, how come I don't feel the same about things that I used to?

Raw food MAY have something to do with it, I'm not sure. But her leaving doesn't feel sad to me. Yes, I won't be able to see her as often, but I realized that her living in Boulder expands me too! Now I have someone to visit, I have someone who is finding out how cool Colorado is, and my friend and I have an opportunity to deepen our friendship in a totally different way. I welcome those things. It gives us a chance to grow in ways we simply couldn't before, living 30 mins away.

I am also scheduled to meet with my boss today (heartbeat quickens!). I will be giving my notice. I am excited and nervous.

This is maybe one of the first times (the only time?) that I have come to a crossroads and rather than weighing my options and going with the best case scenario (based on a cultural norm), I am going with what I CHOOSE. I choose to say goodbye to this job AND I choose to say yes to my authentic life. I choose to step into myself, in all areas. I choose to have faith in myself and my deep desires to serve and make a difference.

I've been reading all these raw blogs and putting the folks on pedestals because I didn't think I was capable of this kind of life change. I'm not a model or a raw food chef/coach, I haven't written an e-book or lost 200 pounds. BUT those aren't my experiences to share.
I HAVE gotten lighter. I have moved into my internal process like nothing else. I feel confident. I feel loved. These are HUGE steps for me. Yes, I eat 100% raw and feel good physically, but my internal work, the work I've been doing since I can remember, has been the most profound for me on the raw diet. That's important to me. And I think raw food has helped me see that I am ready, capable, and blessed.