Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Master Cleanse, Day 3

I am COLD today. I think I am used to having fats to "keep me warm" and they hardly do a good job (I am just so cold most of the time), but now that I am just drinking lemonade with maple syrup and cayenne, it doesn't help the cold factor. My body has ditched its outer layers since going raw, but I don't think it's fair that since I am trying to take care of myself, that I suffer cold everything!

I don't really "miss" food, as it were. I see food and enjoy looking at it, but I'm not going crazy not being able to eat solid food. It's the 3rd day, so I imagine it will only get better from here. It sure is MUCH easier to not have to prepare anything but the cleansing drink each day. I loved that part of fasting the last time I did it. No mess, no fuss, nothing but my glass bottles to clean.

In therapy today I felt pretty raw (pun NOT intended). I'm having a rough time emotionally (it started before the fasting but is only demonstrating itself more colorfully now). I want the emotional detox, and I didn't think it was going to be all roses. And it's certainly NOT, by any means.

I have been noticing how much energy I am flitting away in other areas of my life. I read blogs of other raw food folks and it seems that they have only made time for the things that matter to them (what a concept!) and I feel like I am being bogged down by a lot of stuff I don't want to be dealing with. I don't feel positive about much at the moment and that's a bummer.

I'm daydreaming about living in community, as I like to do when my life hits the fan...but I am still not very present.

I HAVE been noticing that when I feel this way, my body wants to map out when the next food fix is coming. That's an interesting thing. I usually plot my day by way of grocery stores. Even if I am not hungry, I want to know food is nearby. In case I need 'X' I can get it at this place, or that place...etc. And at home, when I am feeling lonely, left out, bored, scared, frustrated, angry, resentful, sneaky, devious, rebellious, etc., I run right to nuts, raw snacks, dried fruit, etc. So when housemates eat their cooked food breakfast, I don't CRAVE that, but I do think about lara bars, raisins, nuts, and other raw foods as a way to keep the habit/pattern of stuffing things down.

I'm not too surprised that I don't really have that much to expel on the Master Cleanse. I drink the sea salt flush twice a day and nothing alarming happens. In fact, I hoped there would be more stuff to excrete, but maybe I haven't been eating enough to excrete! The 7 Day Detox from the Raw Divas actually shows that I'm probably not eating enough normally (their plan is a detox but looks like more food than I normally eat), hence the binging on nuts when I get off of work. Their menu planner seems like it will be a jump for me to eat as much as they advise. I don't eat until I am hungry, which is later and later, and then at work I don't eat tons, and then I come home and haven't thought about dinner so I eat nuts and then go to bed. But if I ate more greens during lunch and dinner and stopped eating after 6:30pm, then I'd probably feel different. Can't wait to try it out.

Oh! And I read recently that it takes more energy to deal with emotional stuff than physical stuff. Exercising eventually stops, but our emotions are constantly showing up. Makes sense. So I am all about emotions and yet I don't give myself enough energy back after having dealt with them. Also explains why I always want to eat after therapy!

That's enough for now...
More tomorrow!

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