Thursday, May 10, 2007

Appreciation

All this talk about abundance has got me feeling full! So full that I notice I feel really appreciative lately. More than usual.

I am SO appreciative of the people and experiences in my life that I could spend all day talking about it. But instead, here's an exercise:

Think about something that you're struggling with right now: debt, parents, kids, co-worker, war, etc. Hold that person, thing, or experience in your mind. See it as having its own energy. Notice all aspects. If it's a person, write a letter to that person listing all the things you do appreciate. If you're having trouble, you might try "I appreciate gaining the awareness about what I can and cannot tolerate in my life" or "I appreciate the way you help me learn about myself." You can send it or not, but at least you know what you appreciate and can start to hold some positive energy about the person.

For example, debt. I see it as this monthly reminder, a path to freedom, a burden, etc.

If I listen to what debt has to tell me, it says "I'm not all bad. I allowed you to have an experience you couldn't otherwise afford and now you say it was the best experience of your life. I am temporary and you can pay me off as fast and as soon as you want. Sometimes I think you like having me because you feel you can relate to other people better. You have an excuse to not pursue your dreams. You can keep your energy low and not feel obligated to serve others."

Touche. Very good points. I have gotten comfortable associating with debt in a negative light, when it's true that I only incurred the debt to enjoy my Findhorn experience to its fullest. Our wedding was amazing and now we're still paying it off, but it was a phenomenal experience. Being able to pay it off in smaller increments has served us. Now we want that money and energy for something else, so we're going to pay it all off and pursue our dreams.

So in line with this new appreciation of debt, in addition to paying my bills, I am going to write each credit card company a nice letter (maybe I'll even decorate it!), appreciating the chance to have these amazing experiences and turning the energy into positive energy, instead of negative. The closer we get to paying it off, the better we will feel and each month we have a chance to appreciate it more.

I often think that when I share some mishap or negative feeling that I am "being honest." I dramatize an event to show how wrong it was and spend hours and hours justifying my nasty attitude (my friends can vouch for this). It's okay to have feelings, but when those feelings start to take over, I rarely feel better after getting them off my chest. My friendship doesn't heal, the situation doesn't improve, and I don't feel any better. Maybe more justified, but I can't confuse that with better.

Time to bring in Appreciation! Even appreciating a small thing, is a good place to start. "I appreciate my anger for showing me that I am passionate."

The more I appreciate, the better I feel. It's good for me to pull back from things and people and really appreciate their presence in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to feel, but when I do, it changes my whole perspective.

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