Friday, November 2, 2007

Judgment

I forgot to blog about this. I think I wanted to erase it from my memory.
I got an email from a "friend" (must keep anonymity) saying that he didn't want me to talk to him about his eating habits anymore. He felt judged by me and asked that his food/diet/sugar habit be "off limits."

I felt really hurt by the email, truth be told. I do not spend my days thinking of ways to judge or harass people. What I do is listen to their endless complaints about their body for years at a time and one day, perhaps uncontrollably, tell them that if they try Reiki, raw food, therapy, etc., they might make some headway in their health. These are people whose lives are altered by their physical, mental, emotional discomfort. I feel like a secret doctor who shrugs her shoulders when a patient with an open, bleeding wound is crying in agony. They aren't asking for help, they are simply crying in agony. And it's MY arrogance that pipes up and tells them that putting pressure on the wound will stop the blood, as well as ceasing to jab themselves repeatedly with a sharp object. But my 'advice' and of course 'judgment' is unsolicited.

This is something I have always struggled with. When something has worked for someone else, and I have a similar problem, I'm all over their advice and suggestions. I'll try anything. I know my limitations so I welcome anyone else's experience, even if it's ONLY to clarify what I feel is right. So the fact that my concern is seen as judgment is really disappointing.

I eventually wrote back and apologized that my friend saw my concern as judgment and pointed out that my intention was more powered by caring than by wanting to make him feel bad. Sadly, I probably won't be sharing raw food with him intentionally (unless of course he asks) and don't really look forward to eating with him. I know I'm just cranky about it at this point and it will probably be nothing in a few weeks. Too bad not everyone can get on the train at the same time.

Stay tuned for better ideas for what to do with my energy...

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