Rawking in a Winter Wonderland

Winter Holidays are upon us and I wanted to let you know that I will be co-teaching (with Sandra Culver) an all-day class (with options to take individual classes) on December 6th at Thrive (the almost-open raw food store on 65th and 12th ave NE, in the Ravenna area). I'll be talking about Warming Up with Raw Food and Raw for the Holidays and Sandra will be hosting food demos that go along with those topics so you can be sure to be ready with recipes and techniques for staying raw and impressing friends and family.

The holidays are some of the toughest times for raw foodists, but with delicious recipes and support, this year will be different.

11am-12:30pm Warming Up with Raw Food (tips and tricks for staying warm with raw food)

12:45pm-2:15pm Warming Foods Demo

2:30pm-4:00pm Raw Food Holidays (tips and tricks for dealing with non-raw holiday parties, answers to commonly asked questions by well-meaning relatives, and support for those times when cooked food calls to you)

4:15pm-5:45pm Holiday Food Demos

Join us for merry-making for a few individual classes or all four. The fee is $35 a class or $130 for all four. Also included in the fee are informative packets filled with practical tips and recipes to help stay raw during the holidays.

Attendance is by reservation only, so please email to secure your spot.

Warming Up with Raw Food

I'm teaching a class called "Warming Up with Raw Food." I'll talk about different foods, spices, and preparation methods that help create delicious warming foods. And in addition to those, I'll talk about other aspects of staying warm in the winter. Some tips may surprise you...:)

Lots of people "fall off of raw" when the holidays roll around because of the warm foods that they see all around them. They don't yet have the experience of preparing raw food for the colder months.

We'll sample some dishes using the various warming methods and you'll take home a helpful packet of information.

Class fee is $35, which includes the packet and samples of several warming dishes. Class limit is 10. Please register before November 4th.

Email RawBecca for directions or if you have any questions!

Mainstream

I've been a raw foodist now for over a year and a half...that doesn't really seem like a long period of time when you think about 28 years of eating cooked food. But I've come to realize and experience that time bends differently on raw food.

My body has dropped 30 pounds, I look younger, my skin is smoother, my eyes, whiter, my sleep has improved drastically, my intuition has quantum-leaped, my personal growth has amped up exponentially, and my health has increased four-dimensionally.

If you were to tell me two years ago, "Hey, I bet you'll have all this crazy-awesome stuff happen to you in the next couple of months after eating more fruit and veggies," I would've laughed (and secretly been angry at you for even suggesting that I might possibly be able to do this, believing fully well that I would fail miserably).

And here I am. I talk with a lot of folks about different things like business, health, relationships, addiction, etc., and I cannot help but talk about raw food...because it might help them for one reason or another (or several!). I don't mean to belabor the point (wow, that phrase is getting a lot of play, isn't it?), but REALLY, raw food is more than a miracle...it's a lifestyle. It's not a flash in the pan, or a fluke, or a pipe dream.

My mother, who was previously a size 14 (she's 5'2") is now swimming in size 6 jeans. I wouldn't have believed it, had I not experienced it myself. And she's not even 85-100% raw!

I don't hear a lot of people talking about how amazing they felt after cooked food, so it seems crazy that I keep talking about raw food, but really, it's worth a 30 day trial for anyone, just to see if there is any improvement.

In fact, I will promise to stop talking about it, if after they are 50% raw for 30 days, it makes NO difference in their life.

I'm at the point now, with having read tens of raw books, that I feel immersed in the mainstream culture of raw food. When someone says, "Superfood," I nod. When someone talks about green smoothies, my mouth waters. When someone asks about my protein intake, I outright laugh! This is how I know this is my life. I've spent enough time and energy testing this out, that I know I am in it to win it.

I know that my thought processes have changed, my "still small voice" is not only louder, but actually is the loudest voice, and I know that my intuition is riding shotgun with my logical mind, not stuffed in the trunk, like stinky garbage.

It feels really good. If you are early on your raw path and wonder if you could ever get here, you CAN. I'd be happy to help, even. I like to reiterate that the raw food path is PERSONAL. I can't tell you exactly what to eat. I can't give you a magic regimen to follow. I can help you tweak some aspects, I can troubleshoot issues, but ultimately you are creating your health. You're not alone, by any means, but this is your experience.

Keep it up. Be proud of yourself. You've chosen the "path less traveled" but I bet you anything it's one awesome path!

I'm currently writing the next booklet for my upcoming class, Warming Up with Raw Food! I can't wait to share it with you.

Upcoming Classes

Please bare with me while I design the curriculum for my upcoming classes. I'm working on a "Warming Up with Raw Foods" class as well as a "Raw Food in Time for the Holidays" class that is more food-prep based. Stay tuned for upcoming dates and more classes.

Successful Fast

Today is Yom Kippur and I am about to complete a successful fast. I did drink water and two cups of fasting tea because I believe that the liquid is aiding me in releasing the toxins that are gathering.

I did not gorge myself for the pre-fast meal (I think I had a small helping of soup) and when I complete the fast I will also have simple liquid like broth or a blended juice.

I rested, read, refrained from media (except writing on a few blogs), and enjoyed the meditative day.

The major religions have a strong relationship with fasting and it's nice to have a renewed relationship with the purpose of fasting. I enjoy doing seasonal fasts and I hope to do more in the coming year. Giving my body a break so I can focus on spiritual matters is really helpful. Sometimes my heart and mind are so hectic that some intentional time to go within is so beneficial.

I feel much better, clearer, more energetic, and satisfied. I'm not running to the kitchen to eat, either. Just waiting until I am ready.

Spiritual Fasting

Yom Kippur, one of the Jewish High Holidays, is coming up on October 9th. This is one of the most popular holidays in Judaism. It's a time of cleansing, repenting, asking for forgiveness and starting the new year (Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, began on Sept. 30th) with a clean slate.

Many Jews fast on Yom Kippur. I have made a strange habit of not fasting in years past because it was just too distracting to be overcome with hunger while sitting and standing for several hours.

For me, the problem with fasting on Yom Kippur, at least the way I was told to do it, is that we have a HUGE meal the night before (to "store up" enough food for the next day of fasting), then we eat nothing and barely drink the next day, until the absolute last minute, where we gorge ourselves on tons of carbohydrates and end up stuffed again, but without the headache.

Now that I'm raw, and I've had plenty of experience with fasting, I see the mistakes we've been making so clearly.

In order to really cleanse, eating a huge meal (cooked, no less) the night before, as if we are camels storing up for the long road ahead, is counter-productive. This only increase hunger pangs the next day and gives our body a lot to process.

Also, we don't prepare for the fast very well. It's good to eat lightly for several days BEFORE a water fast (and some people don't even drink water!) so that it is not such a shock to the system.

Eating mostly fruit and veggies 3 days prior, with increasing servings of green smoothies will allow the body to gradually begin cleansing and to get used to the minimal calories. Keeping up the water intake will reduce the headaches (usually from all the toxin release) and keep the toxins flowing right out. The whole point is to cleanse ourselves so that we're "empty" for God, and not to punish ourselves as if we are bad people. Many fasting guides recommend limiting highly interactive and stimulating activity when water fasting. Our senses are heightened and over-stimulation doesn't let us focus on our internal process.

The day of the fast, if you are able, it's good to reduce the amount of stressful activity you engage in. Take the bus to synagogue, forget about work, spend time reflecting or just being with family, etc. Luckily, most folks are in synagogue with cell phones off, and their major activity is rising and being seated for several hours.

It's customary to wear white, refrain from wearing leather (not wanting to inflict harm on animals for fashion's sake), and generally focus on this time in a meditative, repenting manner. I appreciate the focus on simplicity and compassion and believe that goes hand in hand with raw foodism.

I personally recommend drinking water on Yom Kippur. There is no reason we should be lightheaded or faint during this important day. Next year I hope to lead a 2-3 day retreat or at least a Yom Kippur retreat that really focuses on the fasting/cleansing/purifying aspect. I think we lose that along the way.

As the day comes to a close, instead of planning whose house to go to for Break Fast (this is its common name), have another green smoothie or some light soup and break your fast slowly. Eating a huge meal after fasting all day is a recipe for disaster. Stomachaches, indigestion, and overeating are common and to me, it defeats the purpose of cleansing in the first place.

If we are starting the year anew, then fasting and easing back into our lives in a new way makes the most sense. I don't like asking for forgiveness, committing to living more authentically and then turning around and eating exactly what I ate the day before, as if nothing has changed.

Just like fasting for the season change, fasting for religious purpose is a great way to start new.

So, if you're Jewish and raw, and happen to fast this year, consider the deeper meaning of cleansing and purification and safely move into and out of the fast.

If you're not Jewish and get a kick out of fasting, then I recommend reading up on how all the major religions view fasting. It'll give you plenty of year-round fun!

Have a great fast!

Raw Food 101 Class

I had a GREAT time teaching my second Raw Food 101 class. It gives me such pleasure to teach, share, support and encourage people on the raw food path, whether for health, weight loss, clarity, or anything else.

What I love about raw food is that even if you start eating more raw foods for one reason, the other stuff comes anyway, effortlessly!

We had 5 lovely women in attendance today, with my husband Josh teaching "Knife Skills" for the first part. I hope to develop the class to be even more in-depth so that we can cover other things (four hours is not enough time!).

We talked about protein sources, supportive websites, how we can use veggies more creatively, and the individual components of starting on the raw food path.

The booklet I wrote and compiled goes into many of the topics more in-depth, and I hope to expand that, as well.

I had a blast creating a delicious meal with our group and look forward to more get togethers!

I'm going to be teaching another 101 class since several folks missed this one and have expressed interest. In addition to regular 101 classes, I'll be talking in future lectures about Warming Up with Raw Food, Raw Food on Vacation, Raw Food Potluck Dishes, It's Easy Eating Greens, and I'm especially excited about my couples and family class for the raw foodist and non-raw community they live in!

I have a million ideas for classes but if you have something you want to learn, drop me a line and I will find a way to make it into a class!

Stay tuned here for calendar updates, or better yet, email me and I'll put you on my mailing list.

So here's to more raw food, healthy living, and all the success you can handle!

The Best Gift on My Birthday

I love to use my birthday as a time to start fresh. I've been raw for 50 days. Even when I partake of cooked food (intentionally or not), I have still considered myself raw, so I have not lost sight of the fact that I am committed to being raw from now on.
Raw food has brought me such joy and such abundance! Aside from relieving me of various ailments I didn't think I had (doesn't everyone get occasional headaches, have constant congestion, and sleep poorly?), it has given me a new perspective on life. With that comes more passion, power, and connection with the Source. No religious belief or self-help program has given me what raw food has and I am so grateful for the delicious crunch of a gala apple, or the juice firmness of a cantaloupe.
My birthday was last night (Sept 19th) and I, with the help of my AMAZING husband Josh (pictured in Raw Spirit pics with me and Bunny), and both of my housemates, I was able to show my 20 closest friends and family that raw food is delicious, nutritious, flavorful, filling, and satisfying. We had sushi, Thai slaw, Sweet Potato noodles with Thai Curry, mint cheesecake, and cucumber melon drink. Some folks even said, "Wow, this is actually good!"
I was so blessed. Truly, truly blessed.
I also went to the spa yesterday (free for birthday girls!) and had a conversation with myself about why I don't feel powerful ALL the time. My response to that was that I am always choosing to struggle through my life. I choose hard circumstances and challenging situations so that I can show people that even when life is hard, you can triumph (because I always prevail). But yesterday, with some Divine guidance, I began choosing to skip the struggle and simply live triumphantly. The Universe is not creating "tests" and "obstacles" to make me prove myself. I'm doing all that because I feel that I need to struggle first!
The Universe is lovingly, abundantly, and easily giving me exactly what I want and I just need to step into receiving it without guilt or embarrassment. I don't need to feel bad for seeing that I truly LOVE my life and the universe and the Ultimate Spirit. Life never has to be hard or filled with struggle. Sure, accidents happen and things may "go wrong," but there are enough amazing things in the world going on at one time, that I don't have to focus on that. I always see the gift in tragedy and now I know I don't have to wait as long to acknowledge it.
I, of course, am not welcoming tragedy, nor am I condemning it. I'm calling it tragedy. I'm choosing to feel challenged. But I can also choose to see the amazingness of it. I can choose to see how a physical injury has led me to LOVE my body so much for its strength, endurance, flexibility, and willingness to heal.
I can choose to see that emotional trauma is a way for me to build and strengthen my relationship to Source and Spirit.
So I choose to live life easily, abundantly, with love and passion! And it's a great life to live!

Raw Spirit Continued

What I really enjoyed and what I want others who were not there to know, is that it was really cool to be among others like me. I highly underestimate the support component in the raw and living foods lifestyle. I'm usually the "freaky" person in the crowd, what with my "salad with no dressing" or my "just uncooked vegetables" requests. But there I was, with hundreds of other folks talking about cacao (without the need to explain the diff. b/w raw and roasted), goji berries, coconut milk, red peppers (instead of green), etc.

The last night Shimshai played a great concert and I teared up watching non-drunk, non-drugged, happy people dancing and emanating pure love. Seriously, chefs, speakers, authors, new to raw alike were getting down and dancing under the full moon. It was fantastic.

I had bed-head practically every day (I only showered once for 2 mins--too cold--the whole weekend), I wore the same clothes, I didn't put on any pretense and I was loved from the moment I arrived, until I parted ways with folks at the airport. There was an almost tangible, constant "hug" from raw fooders the whole weekend. I highly recommend folks get down to Santa Barbara in May for the next fest.

The food was a bit heavy for me, since I usually have a green smoothie first thing, a salad for lunch, and then a heavier, but less complicated dinner, but I could hardly pass up the delicious meals that came with the entry fee.

I'll also bring my own sleeping bag next time because the nights were cold and I do much better when I am warm at night. CA might be diff. in May, but I still need a sleeping bag.

After seeing all of my raw food heroes and having such an awesome time, I am more resolute than ever regarding my mission in life. Optimum health is available to us without gimmicks, guilt, counting calories, surgeries, and unnecessary medical procedures. I want to help empower folks to be in charge of their health and through that, their life. I'll be offering classes on the emotional aspects of going raw, living in a non-raw family (this will be primarily a couple's class), getting in tune with the seasons via our food choices, building community, and many more.

Raw food has provided me better relationships with friends and family, amazing health, weight loss, mental clarity, spiritual growth, personal growth, and a much stronger and varied sense of taste. And I simply want to share my experience and provide support and encouragement to others!

Raw Spirit Festival 2008

I just got back from Raw Spirit Festival 2008 and it was a blast! Hubby Josh came with me and we had such a great time. We volunteered 5 hours each day so we could meet raw food chefs and others interested in raw food prep. It was a lot of fun to spend the early morning preparing food for thousands of attendees.
After our shifts we were able to hear raw food folks: Anthony Anderson, Dr. Doug Graham, Karen Knowler, Dr. Aris La Tham, David Wolfe, and many more!

We got to try so many yummy dishes by raw food chefs too!

More Later!

October 4th, Raw Foods 101-Just Starting Out

If you live in the Seattle area, I'll be teaching my first class on Raw Foods 101, especially for those just starting out.
We'll talk about appliances, social situations, and how to prepare quick raw and living food meals.
I'll make several dishes for us to enjoy during class. This class is directed at those who are just starting out and want to know the basics of the raw food lifestyle. Later classes will dive into recipes and food prep specifically.

Location: Duwamish Cohousing Common House, 6000--17th Ave SW, Seattle, WA
Time: October 4th, 11-3pm
Fee: $30 (this includes a very resourceful handout with beginning recipes)

Class size limit is 10 people, so sign up now!

For more info, please call: 206-97-FEAST (973-3278) or email rawbecca (at) gmail (dot) com

Not MIA, just blogging on Raw Fu!

Hey everyone,
I see that my site will be a lot more public than it has ever been, so I better show up more! I've been blogging almost daily on the Raw Fu Challenge site. Go here to read about my 100 days of raw. (I'm really raw all the time, but the challenge is 100 days)

It's been great to be in a community of folks all on different paths to more raw food in their life. I feel minimal pressure and have not spent any time beating myself up for any slips or non-raw indulgences. That has really helped me, actually.

One thing that I can say from experience is that it's nice to eat non-raw food and still call myself raw.

I dated a vegetarian once and when I told him I occasionally ate fish, he was angry at my self-labeled vegetarianism. Now, I understand that culture labels people to create order (however we need that in our lives)and when someone eats a previously-living creature that that label of "vegetarian" can be a misnomer. BUT, what should anyone care what I eat anyway?
If I eat 99% vegan, with a bit of honey in my tea on occasion, I do not feel like I would then have to re-label myself a honey-eating vegan, or freegan, or whatever clever label I come up with so that the rest of the world can classify me in a museum, when my bones are dug up 1,000 years from now.

So I AM a raw foodist AND I sometimes have non-raw food. This prevents me from using my ever-so-popular justification "Well, if I had a bite of a wheat-free cookie, then I might as well give up now on being raw for the rest of the week and stuff my face with every pastry in sight."
I do not continue eating non-raw stuff after a bite and I am finding that this self-care is really good for me and my process. Some people need cold turkey methods. I am enjoying the choice aspect. I feel empowered either way. I say no to people's offer of cooked food sometimes, which is good, but when I am really curious, I will indulge.

The curiosity is waning though. I can feel it. I can see something and wonder if it will make my tastebuds sing, and then immediately answer myself, that it hasn't made my tastebuds sing yet and probably won't again.

Most times, I find that I have a bite of homemade pretzel, feel the heavier food, and then release the further need for that kind of grounding. I am learning that oats and nuts are better for grounding for me.

I've been REALLY good about not eating past 7-8pm...I feel SO much better the next day. Seriously. It's amazing. I am not as concerned with the weight gain (eating late at night encourages weight gain), as much as the lethargic feeling. I love to get up out of bed and greet the day with enthusiasm. And whenever I reach for that late night food, I am happily reminded that it's not worth the sluggishness the next day (for almost the WHOLE day, too!).

Welcome to my blog, and I promise to be more regular (no pun intended!) about updating. Maybe I can figure out how to get my Raw Fu blog to feed here...ah, technology!

Happy Raw Day!

Raw Fu Challenge Day 14

I said goodbye to my friend, who's moving to Boulder, CO, this morning. She cried, but oddly, I didn't. I've been wondering what these new feelings are. Or at least, how come I don't feel the same about things that I used to?

Raw food MAY have something to do with it, I'm not sure. But her leaving doesn't feel sad to me. Yes, I won't be able to see her as often, but I realized that her living in Boulder expands me too! Now I have someone to visit, I have someone who is finding out how cool Colorado is, and my friend and I have an opportunity to deepen our friendship in a totally different way. I welcome those things. It gives us a chance to grow in ways we simply couldn't before, living 30 mins away.

I am also scheduled to meet with my boss today (heartbeat quickens!). I will be giving my notice. I am excited and nervous.

This is maybe one of the first times (the only time?) that I have come to a crossroads and rather than weighing my options and going with the best case scenario (based on a cultural norm), I am going with what I CHOOSE. I choose to say goodbye to this job AND I choose to say yes to my authentic life. I choose to step into myself, in all areas. I choose to have faith in myself and my deep desires to serve and make a difference.

I've been reading all these raw blogs and putting the folks on pedestals because I didn't think I was capable of this kind of life change. I'm not a model or a raw food chef/coach, I haven't written an e-book or lost 200 pounds. BUT those aren't my experiences to share.
I HAVE gotten lighter. I have moved into my internal process like nothing else. I feel confident. I feel loved. These are HUGE steps for me. Yes, I eat 100% raw and feel good physically, but my internal work, the work I've been doing since I can remember, has been the most profound for me on the raw diet. That's important to me. And I think raw food has helped me see that I am ready, capable, and blessed.

My First Raw Food Class

I'll be teaching my first raw food class on Friday and I'm excited. I'm doing mostly food prep and quick meals but I'm excited to share what I know because I'm super enthusiastic about raw food and I believe it's a good use of my time to share with others how to include more fruits and veggies in their diet.

Weight loss is a huge draw for a lot of people, which is all fine and good, but I do believe that more nutrients in our life can't hurt.

It's a four hour class and will mostly be focused on food and learning how to substitute raw food for cooked food. Fun! Anyway, I'm excited.

On a personal front, I am feeling very wishy-washy about raw food...I have not attended many community events because I have been a bit turned off of community at present. Not in general, but I have a hard time going to raw food events these days. I have made my raw food life "normal" and even when I eat food that doesn't agree with me, I still consider myself raw. I do feel like my addiction scenario is more obvious...I can admit my powerlessness...but getting help is harder. Although, I do realize that while I was in therapy last night, I used the metaphor of nourishment, consuming, and being fed to describe my frustration with feeding my soul. My soul is hungry and although food in NO way helps, it distracts me enough to make me "feel better."
In any case, this connection of food to soul nourishment was important, as I believe that my current job, my current creative output, and my desire to connect with others like me has a direct correlation to unhappiness or better yet, dissatisfaction.

It's important to know that about myself, and possibly others, because as I free up energy, it DOES need to go someplace and be USED. It can't just hang around. When that happens I get a bit anxious. I'm reading a lot more because I have a lot of energy to release or use up.

But the energy has to be used in its frequency. When I eat organic, fresh raw foods, I create that same type of energy. In fact, I add to it with love, compassion, enthusiasm, and desire to connect to the Divine. So that energy transmutes inside of me and then has to flow out into something else, as it is gaining momentum. This is how we change the world. We gather the best, create more to add to it, and then share it with others.

It IS important that we add to it. In fact, an interesting thing I feel about the raw food evolution is that when I moved beyond what I was eating, into how that food motivated me, I wanted to do different things. I don't read as many blogs about food anymore. And some folks who are hanging out in a similar place as when they first went raw, I have lost my appetite for their info. Nothing personal, it's just that I want to read about different stuff.

Being 100% raw is not my only goal...frankly, I enjoy learning about transmutation and how to bring the chakras into my daily life/work. How can I use the positive energy that food gives me in my daily work (reiki, sewing, writing, the law firm, teaching, gardening, etc.)?

I am still learning about my addictions and how I use food to mediate my brain and spirit. I do not beat myself up over eating non-raw food. It's not about being strict...because I know there is a reason I am still needing cooked food to mediate my life. I am unfulfilled in several other areas and the eating of cooked food pretends to satisfy me...I'm aware of that. Logically, it makes no sense to eat it. I feel happy for about 5 mins and then I end up eating more to get that continuous high. Then I go to sleep, full and feeling yucky, and wake up with a food hangover, similar to that of folks who drink a lot and get an alcohol hangover. My face has started to break out over the past couple of days and actually, that's a huge incentive for me to go back to my raw ways. Also, we haven't been to the grocery store for our staples.

Anyway, no excuses, just observations. I do not feel the camaraderie that I think I'll feel when eating socially (which is usually when I let everything 'slide'). The rigidity is hard for me...especially when I really do feel uptight wanting to know what is raw, organic, etc. So I am simply continuing to explore it and I am okay that it is my own journey and I owe nothing to anyone with regarding of explaining my actions...I am learning how to be raw and that is a constant process.

I can still teach about it, because the addiction does not exclude me from my passion and interest in it. :) Plus, I HAVE read a lot about it.

That's all for now...I have been contemplating the Master Cleanse again...it seems like a helpful thing.

Getting Clear

I am facilitating my first Reiki attunement on Sunday and that has helped me get back to my raw food roots, so to speak. I have had several weeks of discovery around my raw food and cooked food habits.
The pendulum has swung and is now swinging back. When I know that I must hold energy for a lot of people and/or in a bigger way, I am naturally drawn to raw food. I feel good when I eat it, and feel great AFTER I eat it, so that helps.

Being a clearing for light energy is really important to me. When I feel disconnected, eating heavy, cooked food is where I immediately go. Not because it makes me feel more connected, but it just numbs me out from the feeling of disconnection. Interesting how that works.

I am learning that I tend to not shine as bright as I can, for fear of standing out, not fitting in, or being weird. I am learning how much that does not serve me. The people I love, who love me, have NO problem when I vibrate at my full potential. They like it. I like it. It's a win/win, y'know?

Eating cooked food is not really fun for me. I do not get the pleasure that I once did. In fact, after a hypno-session I did this week, I really don't want the baked goods that I used to be obsessed with.

I am not reading so many raw blogs these days either. Raw food is becoming a normal part of my life, even with my cooked food experiences. I don't feel as drawn to read about the beginner stuff anymore. Even if I'm not 100% raw. I just want to talk about other stuff, y'know?

I have been thinking about a curriculum for folks who are beyond raw "basics" and looking for support around detox, emotional transformation, how our lives change when we go raw (and not just what we buy at the grocery store). I'm fascinated with that topic since being raw has brought me a lot of other stuff that I rarely get to share with others.

I'm offering my first private raw basics class to non-raw folks who are interested in just more fresh food in their lives. I'm very excited. It will allow me to see what works, and what doesn't. It'll be small so I can do personal stuff and answer questions. And we'll make some yummy easy food.

I've done a good job of not getting down on myself about my eating. I am definitely learning about energy and why or how I crave certain foods. My fears are very tightly wrapped around food and eating and learning about it is good for me as I approach family-making. When I am afraid of my power, I use food to deaden it to a normal level. I use food to deal with boredom, too. If I take more responsibility in my life, there is less boredom...and this is definitely a transition for me. I am not used to doing that, admittedly. I mean, I don't run away completely, but I certainly haven't been stepping up. Just something for me to notice.

Anyway, I feel good today (I'm eating some simple, but delicious flax seed crackers that I made last night). Making simple but delicious food is key. Eating a lot more is also key. Having enough food to eat a lot more of, is key too. The flax crackers can be adapted and don't have nuts (which I am trying hard to limit)so I look forward to flax graham crackers, flax pizza crust, pie crust, etc. Yum!

I will also do the Master Cleanse again. It was really successful the last time and now that I know my pitfalls, I can be better prepared when they come up again. I might go longer than 10 days and really take time to meditate and get in touch with that powerful part of myself and see how to engage it more. I know it can be done. I also want to keep more regular with cleansing.

Here's to holding more energy and being light in the world!

So THAT'S what it feels like!

I'm not proud of it, but this wouldn't be MY blog if I didn't talk about the binge I had this past weekend.

Man, alive. I'd like to think that before raw food I didn't have a problem. Yes, I'd like to think that, but I don't. I have a problem with food and while it's easier to deal with in many ways through raw food, it doesn't solve the problems associated with it. Grr.
I was alone in the house for 6 hours and normally, I would NOT be tempted but I was this time. Just because I don't eat 3 pies of pizza and a gallon of ice cream doesn't mean I don't look to food to fill some empty holes or entertain me in my boredom. Yikes.

I'm struggling with how I eat differently in public than in private. Normally, you might think that I would gorge myself on pizza when I'm alone, but actually (other than this past Saturday) I eat raw when I'm alone and my cooked food weakness is a more public thing. Weird. I had some cooked food when a friend came over for dinner, in an effort to show her that I was comfortable eating a little cooked food while remaining raw. We talked previously about how rigid I was being with regard to raw food so I was trying to be "relaxed" but that quickly turned into 50 hours of non-relaxed behavior where I just couldn't stop.
The sensation of eating is pleasurable to me. So raw or not, I like to be eating. When I am excited, bored, sad, fearful, or just walking by the kitchen, I eat. I use food to fulfill all these things in my life (which it never does, strangely). My experience in OA didn't really sit well with me, so I'm wondering if going back to another 12 step group would help. Maybe actually getting a sponsor and/or going through the steps would be good.

Anyway, I'm not too down on myself about the eating/binging. It happened. Today is a new day. I've eaten a grapefruit and a cup of tea. I'm making kale when I get home. I don't crave the cooked food, oddly. It was just that short period, it seems. Not that I won't be susceptible again, but it's not like I want to go back to cooked food, either. Hmm.

On the flip side, Josh and I talked about buying too much food every week and we've decided to pick one day a week to fast, to give our bodies some rest. We also decided we need a bit more regularity with having dinner with people. This might prove to be challenging, since I am picky and raw and eat weird things. But the social aspect is weighing down on us.

Nuts are proving to be too much for me, which is good to know. I can't just eat one. :( I had a slew of raw snack food last week and now we are paring down so there is less lying around. What do I do if I can't eat all the time???

Hmm, that's actually a good question.

What other things can I be doing instead of eating?:

reading my billion books,
cleaning,
calling a friend,
taking a walk,
watching a movie,
meditating,
listening to music,
rebounding,
drinking water,
writing an email,
surfing the net,
writing a piece,
studying,
volunteering for a non-profit,
going to the library,
organizing photos,
cleaning my computer (backing stuff up)
dishes,

That's seems like enough to keep me busy.

Guidance

Since my retreat with Josh last weekend, I've been hearing very clear guidance. My dreams are vivid and it's not hard to interpret them, and I am feeling a lot more energetic, clear, and honest.

I have been detoxing and today is my last day! Last night I did some un-detox-y things and ate a few things in excess, past 6:30pm, and chose some not really good for me foods. My guide said that I could try to see what would happen when I did ALL the things that were questionable for my health and well-being. Boy, it was a bad thing. I had gas, felt irritable, couldn't stop eating, woke up with a gut full of stuff, and slept less. It was not desirable. It was good for me to see the difference between sleeping well, having energy to exercise in the am, and feeling connected. Eating late into the night (peer pressure is really bad for me) was no good and my choices were even worse.

The guidance to eat without shame was good though. The additional shame we put ourselves through after bad decisions actually can worsen the food going in. Stress causes acidity in our bodies and just a smidgen of worry can make a difference in how we feel, react, and recover.

I ate to experiment, to see how bad it really is to eat later...if I do it again, then I will drink my food so that at least it's not too bad. The detox has given me some awesome tools to get a better handle on my eating and to also surrender to the Universe if I am not conscious enough about my choices. Wahoo!

Detox Day 5

I'm still very much into the detox. I am now familiar with what hunger is! How exciting! But I feel hungry now, so that's annoying, actually...:(
Anyway, lots of emotional stuff is still happening/processing, but I'm cool with it for now.

Conclusion of Cleanse

The last two days of my cleanse went really well. I was a bit tired/bored of the drink, but I wasn't really missing food too much. Nothing really "came out" physically, but I had a feeling that most of my detox would be emotional anyway.

I've been exploring the way I communicate lately. I have my ruts and my habitual patterns and through the various physical and non-physical guides in my life, I was able to move through a lot of stuck emotional grime. Sludge. Old, crusty stuff.

I have been really noticing how much I am attached to my ego and my pride. I don't want or like to be viewed as wrong (who does?) and I had to dive deep inside to really look at what I prevented from coming into my life because of that ego stuff. Being wrong meant that I was unworthy or not perfect and that's hard for me. But owning my truth, sharing my fears, and admitting my wrongs felt SO MUCH BETTER than trying to be right. What a relief! I know that admitting I am wrong and being wrong aren't always the BEST feelings, but worse than that was the energy I put in to NOT EVER being wrong...even when I was. If I feel that people won't forgive me because I am wrong sometimes, then I am really not giving myself or others the benefit of my humanity.

I also like to be in control. The raw food lifestyle really gives me a "thing" to hang on to, to control, to judge with, etc. It was wreaking havoc on my emotional state. Feeling out of control made me feel bad, but trying to get in and maintain control was exhausting. The cleanse relieved me of the pressure to deal with food so that I could deal with the unspoken stuff that happens AROUND food. Aha!

I had an interaction with a friend, that I'm not proud of, and I got a lot of clarity around my responsibility in it. I won't go into details here, but let's just say that I am learning to be honest, clear, and state my truth sooner, rather than later, when I usually end up using it as a weapon. Ugh.

The 6th day of the cleanse was really the first day of the Raw Divas' Detox program and it was a simple water fast. Awesome. I had no trouble and even ran for several minutes to catch a bus late in the evening, with no problems.

Now that I am on the detox plan (7 days of fruits and veggies), I admit that simple food tastes amazing. I'm struggling with the local produce situation as many recipes for delicious smoothies include faraway food like bananas, coconuts, etc. I give in to the occasional mango, but I try hard to stay as close as possible while eating ONLY fruits and veggies. Lots of greens though. :)

I had a nice retreat this weekend with my husband where we talked about what's coming up for us around money, our future, our values, spending time together, etc. It was an AWESOME two days filled with emotion, connection, strength, affirmation, and clarity. It was free to do and does wonders for our relationship.

I'm on Day 3 of the detox and I have to admit, I am looking forward to eating the more nut/seed/fat foods that I've missed...I am trying to remain conscious of those choices though. Making snack food so I can overeat is not a good idea and not eating enough is also not a good idea. I think getting a few solid smoothie recipes down, that I can feel good about, will help when I am feeling hungry. I don't eat bananas that much (we don't buy them anymore, but I wouldn't deny a host's offer of an already made smoothie with it) and so I feel a bit limited in my consumption. Perhaps we should invest in some seeded bananas just to try them out. :)

Anyway, I hope you all are well!

Feeling Better Today!

I had a phone session with Paula Langguth Ryan (she's an AWESOME abundance coach) and I feel SO much better about what's going on in my life.
I feel a bit torn between offering up too much information & wanting to share all the details and not publicly writing every single thing that's going on (it can be overwhelming), but let's just say that I'm really getting a chance to look at my life these days.

Not eating a ton of food (raw or otherwise) is helping me a lot. While it's boring (I like to be entertained by food), I can feel the good feelings around it too. I have more time to read, observe, and sleep.

Here's something challenging: My husband Josh is a foodie. When an artist mixes just the right color, or a dj mixes just the right beat and sample, they are in the flow. Josh, too, has a flow when it comes to food. We don't share raw food together in the way he likes to play with cooked food, so it's a bit hard for us to navigate what's going on when one of us is not participating the way the other wishes we did. We have friends coming over for dinner this week and I am cleansing, so I won't be making my own food, nor am I that excited to sit at the table and watch others eat. HUGE STICKING POINT. Normally, I would just make my own raw meal, with all the accoutrements, but I really need to listen to myself when it comes to this food thing. Just because people get together and share food and that in itself can be the entertainment, doesn't mean I have to or even want to sometimes. It's hard for me to even share that thought, since it feels rude and judgmental, but that's how I feel nonetheless (not rude & judgmental, but simply not into food as entertainment).

Josh and I used to share food and we don't do it much anymore. So what can we share? We're going on a retreat next weekend and we'll talk about that.

There are so many raw blogs out there! I can hardly keep up! But I try and it's actually really great to find good blogs that offer valuable information, discussion, reflection, and products.

Master Cleanse, Day 3

I am COLD today. I think I am used to having fats to "keep me warm" and they hardly do a good job (I am just so cold most of the time), but now that I am just drinking lemonade with maple syrup and cayenne, it doesn't help the cold factor. My body has ditched its outer layers since going raw, but I don't think it's fair that since I am trying to take care of myself, that I suffer cold everything!

I don't really "miss" food, as it were. I see food and enjoy looking at it, but I'm not going crazy not being able to eat solid food. It's the 3rd day, so I imagine it will only get better from here. It sure is MUCH easier to not have to prepare anything but the cleansing drink each day. I loved that part of fasting the last time I did it. No mess, no fuss, nothing but my glass bottles to clean.

In therapy today I felt pretty raw (pun NOT intended). I'm having a rough time emotionally (it started before the fasting but is only demonstrating itself more colorfully now). I want the emotional detox, and I didn't think it was going to be all roses. And it's certainly NOT, by any means.

I have been noticing how much energy I am flitting away in other areas of my life. I read blogs of other raw food folks and it seems that they have only made time for the things that matter to them (what a concept!) and I feel like I am being bogged down by a lot of stuff I don't want to be dealing with. I don't feel positive about much at the moment and that's a bummer.

I'm daydreaming about living in community, as I like to do when my life hits the fan...but I am still not very present.

I HAVE been noticing that when I feel this way, my body wants to map out when the next food fix is coming. That's an interesting thing. I usually plot my day by way of grocery stores. Even if I am not hungry, I want to know food is nearby. In case I need 'X' I can get it at this place, or that place...etc. And at home, when I am feeling lonely, left out, bored, scared, frustrated, angry, resentful, sneaky, devious, rebellious, etc., I run right to nuts, raw snacks, dried fruit, etc. So when housemates eat their cooked food breakfast, I don't CRAVE that, but I do think about lara bars, raisins, nuts, and other raw foods as a way to keep the habit/pattern of stuffing things down.

I'm not too surprised that I don't really have that much to expel on the Master Cleanse. I drink the sea salt flush twice a day and nothing alarming happens. In fact, I hoped there would be more stuff to excrete, but maybe I haven't been eating enough to excrete! The 7 Day Detox from the Raw Divas actually shows that I'm probably not eating enough normally (their plan is a detox but looks like more food than I normally eat), hence the binging on nuts when I get off of work. Their menu planner seems like it will be a jump for me to eat as much as they advise. I don't eat until I am hungry, which is later and later, and then at work I don't eat tons, and then I come home and haven't thought about dinner so I eat nuts and then go to bed. But if I ate more greens during lunch and dinner and stopped eating after 6:30pm, then I'd probably feel different. Can't wait to try it out.

Oh! And I read recently that it takes more energy to deal with emotional stuff than physical stuff. Exercising eventually stops, but our emotions are constantly showing up. Makes sense. So I am all about emotions and yet I don't give myself enough energy back after having dealt with them. Also explains why I always want to eat after therapy!

That's enough for now...
More tomorrow!

The Master Cleanse

I've heard of the Master Cleanse from a thousand different sources, but never tried it because it just didn't 'speak' to me, at the time. Recently, after wanting to rid my body of its excess mucus (the ear infection/'cloudy' ear is STILL happening a week later), I stumbled upon the Master Cleanse again. Luckily, I have been 99% raw for several months so the Master Cleanse did not really intimidate me. I also wanted the experience of finding out if it indeed DOES reduce mucus.

Also while reading voraciously (I truly LOVE to read...)about raw food and all the stuff folks on the Internet are up to, I stumbled back upon the Raw Divas. While I'd never call myself a diva (not out loud, anyway), I do feel that I need to look at raw food with a more gentle, yin approach. I tend to be all or nothing in most of my endeavors and the rigidity/yang energy (I've recently blogged about this) was actually not good for me. But I still want the benefit of eating raw food...so how I can have a delicious and supportive relationship with raw food, without the feeling of rules and regulations with regard to my food. The rules and restrictions led me to a lot of nut-eating, which is a no-no in large quantities (I consider my consumption to be on the edge of large quantities). Most people stop feeling good (they have replaced excessive cooked fat with excessive un-cooked fat) when they use nuts as the filler raw food. Also, it was getting to be a headache to figure out what was raw and what was billed as raw, but still pasteurized, steamed, cooked, etc.

The Raw Divas have challenged me to put aside the nuts, avos, and oils in favor of all the fruits, veggies, and sprouts my heart and body desire.

I'm doing the Master Cleanse for 3-10 days (we'll see how long I decide/choose to do it), then I will move into the 7 Day Detox, via the Raw Divas (which won't be that different from the 80/10/10 diet but without all the calculating). I am eager to see what it's like to eat no extra fat (fruits and veggies DO have fat, so I'm not too worried) and also eat when I am hungry, not when I am sad, bored, walking through the kitchen, etc. As a bonus, I hope to save on groceries since our bill tends to be high when I am buying more specialty items. Also, we're growing food this spring and summer so that should be a great way to reduce our food bill.

I do want to hold myself accountable for getting enough calories. Several folks have already expressed their 'almost-concern' about any further weight loss and while I still have some extra "energy" in my body, I am not fasting or detoxing to lose weight for weight loss' sake. I am simply releasing the stuff on and in my body that no longer needs to take up space.

I'm also looking toward some emotional intentions. Lately I've been feeling really disconnected from myself, and I project that outward onto others in my community. I am feeling vulnerable about how I build (or destroy?) the community and connection around me and I intend to gain some clarity on that front. I have been feeling really stretched and I see that I allow myself to bend and form according to others and NOT according to myself and my needs and what I want in the moment.

I have been doing things because I think they will gain me approval and love and when they don't, I am really upset, disappointed, and disillusioned. It SUCKS. Then I am angry and resentful, I pull back and recoil, and spend lots of time sulking and pouting. Yuck. I am looking forward to examining this pattern and seeing how I can sidestep it. Hopefully the detox/fast will give me some clues.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's update...

Rigidity

Well, I thought I would sneak past one of my close friends with regard to how rigid I am being in my pursuit of a clean and pure body. Duh. Rigidity is a community ailment. I'm ONLY rigid in FRONT of people!

This was a setback in many regards and a propulsion forward in a few regards. After my friend lovingly but firmly called me out, I realized that my perfectionism is REALLY detrimental. Which is why a lot of folks think raw food is a covered-up form of an eating disorder. For some, it very well may be. And my friend, still lovingly and still firm, said it's not the raw food that's at fault, it's my own perfectionism. Raw food does WELL in my body. In fact, it has helped me with SO much that I am eternally grateful, AND when I start to shut off from society, using raw food as an excuse, then I know I need to look at myself again.

Why am I eating raw food?
Because I LOVE it. A delicious salad, a triumphant tiramisu, satisfying crackers (with an alteration to make graham crackers, too!), and several open and inviting restaurants all make me feel AWESOME. What doesn't make me feel awesome is when others are eating 'good food' and I offer myself an orange or a handful (which turns into a pound) of nuts and say to myself "You're better than that. Eat this orange and LIKE it. They (anyone not into raw food) are just feeding their addictions. You are above addiction, damn it, now drop and give me 20 Hail-David Wolfe pushups and stop your crying!"
The 'boot camp' of raw food only produces ill-feelings and superiority inside myself and I didn't want to admit it, but there it is. I compare myself to folks who make a living eating raw food and blogging and you-tubing and newslettering and then I take myself out back and whip out the 2X4 of raw until I stuff my face with dates and go to sleep on a full stomach of shame and deprivation.

NO THANKS. I love raw food. I really do. It broke my heart when my housemate said she didn't want to give up flavor to eat better. What?!?! I'm more into flavor now than I have ever been. Sprouts are not garnish. Parsley is not meant to accompany steak. And coconut oil is not just for a body rub. It's so tasty! The tastiest!

So I'm listening to how I deprive myself and then how I sneak off and eat 4 cacao treats to make me feel better (I think I should have stock in Larabar). And I'm noticing how I tell myself NOT to buy something attractive and raw because it's too expensive (and yet I can easily look the other way when people [read: me, a year ago] buy $4 coffee and $3 pastries for a whopping total of NO nutrients!). I'm also noticing how I settle for bland and boring raw food BECAUSE it's raw, not demanding a better alternative to provide me with nutrition AND delicious taste. No more!

Well, at least, I'm observing and listening and hopefully allowing myself to get back to my love of raw food, juice, and spiritual enlightenment via the earth.

My rigidity won't go away overnight. There are probably several other issues in there to look at. But now I can't hide in it and blame my unborn child for my strict adherence to constant limitations. My child, whether raw or cooked, wants to know that he/she is loved. My child wants to feel seen and heard. My child wants to feel comfortable living on the earth. I can offer my best shot of how I learned how to do that myself. And that's enough.

Ch*ch*ch*ch*changes...

Oh, David Bowie...how did you know??

I took last week off from work so that I could have some down time and really get 'right within' about my life. It was a great week. I did some Reiki, Feng Shui, made a raw food feast, fixed my office, sewed (that doesn't look right...) a curtain, and generally had some solid time with myself regarding my future and what my goals and dreams are. I highly recommend going on vacation and not leaving town...so nice.

I'm moving toward the workshop scenario. Stay tuned for more details...

Even when I try to hide...

I just read this on Karen Knowler's site (love her!) and of course I like to read ANYTHING about jobs and quitting them...or really, I like to read about having a job that I love so much that I don't want to quit. So I ran right in to read the article and of course once I was too far along, I realized it was practically ABOUT me. And I didn't even write her about my situation! How did she know? Well, another woman (and it sounds like SEVERAL other folks) "knew" and even in the middle of reading I went to play a game of FreeCell to make myself feel better.
I like my job for all intents and purposes. It's been an amazing experience of learning how to work with others, how to answer phones (I used to HATE it...my palms would sweat, I messed up people's names, hung up accidentally...awful!), how to keep my desk clean and my inbox organized, how to finish projects, and how to stay, even when things get challenging.
As I get clearer in my body, I seem to be getting clearer in a lot of other areas as well. I am outgrowing this job. I was already a bit too tight in some areas, but even after learning the ropes, I see that I am better used to serve elsewhere. I needed some training and some time to adjust to a stable schedule, and now that I feel insanely comfortable, I need to move on. I also *FEEL* the space I'd like to move into. I'm interested in community and also how to strengthen community around place, service, a common goal, etc. I have NO idea how that will play out, which is the only scary part. At present I am working on two situations where I am honing my skill, but because I am not paid, it doesn't seem to behoove me to leave my PT job just yet. I know what I need to bring in to make the leap less scary, but I'm not sure I will get that before it's "time to go." So I feel stuck around it. Quitting this job would be nice. Only because then I would have more time to do these other things. BUT, since I don't exactly know where the money will come from, can I quit my job while Josh is in transition as well? Plus, he wants to open a cafe soon, so it doesn't really look good that we just bought a house, a car, changed our financial situation, and now want a business loan. Hmm. What can I do in the meantime? Good question. Read the Karen Knowler article first.

When Doing Work You Don't Love Is No Longer An Option
Following on from last week's article about Raw Food & Self Love, this week I'm sharing with you a big chunk of my raw food history and how it affected my working life.

This comes in response to the questions emailed to me over the past week where three different ladies described their pain at not doing work they love and/or not knowing their direction. Having been there myself on more than one occasion I can attest to it being one of the most painful chapters of my life - but I can also attest to there being a happy ending!

But before I get into sharing my experience, let's take a moment to look at why this issue is so prevalent among health seekers/ raw foodies, as it most certainly is.

When you go raw you...
1) Wake up!
2) Become more sensitive (things feel much better or worse depending on what they are)
3) Get to hear your own voice more clearly
4) Start to be kinder to yourself and the world around you
5) Start to believe in a more "magical" way of living and being (because you can feel it running through your veins)
6) Feel more pain when things aren't a good fit for you (and don't use food to block that fact out)
7) Have more energy to take action
8) Are generally more positive and upbeat; you begin to believe (and witness) that anything is possible
9) Start to meet others like you and learn through what they have to say and what they have done that there is another way
10) Begin to feel brave enough and vital enough to take the action required to make some big changes, if required, in order to be true to you


In fact, the more raw you go, the more "raw" you get... emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. I have found that it has come to a point where I have very little tolerance for anything that doesn't "work" for me (like a person who is disrespectful or angry, or an aspect of my life that doesn't support me or make me feel good). This is not a Karen phenomenon by any means - as time goes by you simply have to surrender to the way of living that is "being you own best friend" (not a bad way to live, I have to say! Amazing how difficult we find it initially though, non?).

To be clear, no, this doesn't mean becoming a diva or "above your station"! It simply means making choices that FEEL good, that don't entertain negativity and that serve you and those around you because they are good for everyone. The further you go with cleaning up your diet and body the more you will see this play out.

Quite simply raw food brings a physical purity that cannot happily co- exist with a unhappy heart, a muddled mind or a sleeping soul. This last sentence alone sums up why people yo-yo with raw foods for so long as they try to figure out what on earth is going on and also which package they are going to sign up for!

With all this said, I'm going to pass you over now to my blog where I've already published one of the ladies questions along with my answer to her, and the letters and responses to the other two ladies will follow over the weekend (one per day) as well as my own very long and winding personal story of work/life transformation, which, even if I say it myself, I feel is incredibly inspiring : )

I guess you could see it as one of my very many Gratitude Letters to Raw... I'll warn you now though, it won't be a 5 minute read, so you might want to make sure you're sitting comfortably ; ).


Continue reading here >>>

© 2008 Karen Knowler
Karen Knowler, The Raw Food Coach publishes "Successfully Raw" - a free weekly eZine for raw food lovers everywhere. If you're ready to look good, feel great and create a raw life you love get your FREE tips, tools and recipes now at www.TheRawFoodCoach.com.

So what do YOU know?

Hey Raw Foodies!
I realize that I really enjoy writing about myself (ha!) but I don't know much about the folks that read my blog. What are YOU interested in hearing about? I read a billion blogs from other folks and I try to vary what I talk about, but I have no idea how that lands with each of you.

So comment here or send me an email at rawbecca (at) gmail (dot) com. I'd love to write more about what you want to read.

I seem to wait too long to blog, I know. Lots of things are happening in my life that 'may or may not' (read: definitely do, in my opinion) have to do with raw food. Since becoming raw, I've been able to see a (large) part of myself that I hadn't seen before or for very long, if I HAD seen it before. I can't really describe it precisely, but I feel more compassionate, passionate, enthusiastic, hopeful, energetic, and connected (to name a few positive aspects).

I've been 100% since January 2008(95% or so since January 2007) and I'm finding it to be quite easy. My body is rejecting nuts more and more...and my excuse for eating them (they help me stay warm in winter) is no longer holding any water. I've been cold the whole time! My love affair with cashews is slowly coming to an end. They are so sweet and filling, and yet they wake me up in the middle of the night for scratching and bad gas. Plus, they aren't really raw either. So there. Josh likes the nuts, doesn't care if they are raw or not, and it's better than doughnuts so we still have them around. I haven't really had much commercial almond milk. I wait to make my own nut milk, which luckily, is not very often.

I'm down to 127 lbs., definitely not on purpose, but I just am not eating the same way anymore. Lots more juice and green smoothies. Love my veggies and salad, too. I still make the gourmet raw food for non-raw guests or special events, but even then I don't eat too much. The raw tiramisu from Cafe Gratitude is indeed yummy, but my body pays a price for eating it (see cashew trouble above).

But the most exciting part about the changes is that I have engaged my unborn baby (she's a strong spirit) and when I am about to eat unconsciously, she is good about telling me that it's not a good idea. I'm still combining poorly, but I am taking it slow, so as not to become militant, as I am want to do with eating choices, making it difficult to stick with it.

In addition to enjoying my food more, I am feeling some different things emotionally. I have been wanting to practice Reiki more so that I can work at home more often. But the reason I want to work at home more is so that I have more time to do the community work that REALLY inspires me.
I just recently realized that the reason I spend money, primarily, is usually because I want to connect with others. I want to be in communities of folks who are making a difference, who are loving and accepting, and who are not freaked out by my authentic self. I want to know my neighbors, stay with raw folks when I travel, visit raw communities and restaurants outside Seattle, write about things that are important to me, and really allow all the abundance to flow into me and then from me, as much as possible. I want to travel to connect to people and also, to witness the connection I see happening easily between others, all over the world. I like to blog to share my observations and inspire others and provide healing space through words. I ride the bus because my car feels lonely and I like having ample time just to sit and watch. All of these "little" things pointed toward my deep desire for and attraction to more connection.
I'm on two non-profit boards because I feel that they both are in growing stages and what they need is help connecting with others. I found myself the other day really wanting to plan a family reunion! It's plainly obvious NOW that this desire spans my whole life and it's time to open up to the possibilities that are present within that desire. I have no idea what is coming, but I do know that I feel a sense of peace, having finally grasped what I really love in my life. No wonder, I was NOT feeling the intense enthusiasm for all this other stuff that I thought was my only way toward "happiness".

Raw food has helped me strip away the unnecessary stuff. When it comes down to what makes me happy, it's a house full of people, delicious and nutritious food to share, and lively conversation. I love the Amish for their simplicity, service to God, and barn-raising community. I love the Quakers for sitting in silence together for a whole hour a week, sometimes more. I love the Jews for their singing and eating rituals. I love the raw food folks for their GENUINE desire to welcome people into this amazing life by providing support, information, education, and acceptance. I love my family for growing exponentially and not diminishing their love and sincere desire to get together, no matter how crazy it can get. I love the Findhorn Community in Scotland for showing me HOW a successful community works. Love Love Love.

I'm so stoked to be able to be 100% raw right now. I am looking forward to shedding more and more unnecessary stuff (weight, limiting beliefs, toxins, etc) so that I can make more room for the necessary stuff. Yay.

Please comment or email if you have a topic you'd like me to share, investigate, etc.
Love to you all!

Yay Colon!

This morning I had another colonic. Man, I love them. I don't leave feeling 'high' or euphoric (I've read that others have these amazing, light feelings). I leave pretty tired or sluggish. It's a lot of work sometimes! I always think that I can relax and kick back, but in order to engage in what is happening inside my colon, I have to pay attention to what's coming out, how I'm feeling, and consciously release toxic stuff from my body. But now, several hours later, I feel great. My inclination is to refrain from eating, but it feels like a bad idea to not eat just because I want to limit what comes out...I have the same reaction to fasting...but I usually convince myself that my body needs the nutrients, even if I don't necessarily want to "deal" with them.

Toward the end of the session, it seemed to be "all clear" and I was happy about that. I feel like I had a lot of release when I first started doing colonics, but now, after eating primarily raw, eliminating at least 3 times a day, and doing several colonics a year, quite possibly, it's getting to be pretty clean in there.

I'm still planning on doing a gall bladder cleanse this summer because each eliminating organ needs specific attention. Who knows what's going on in my gall bladder or liver? Without any symptoms (that I know of) it's easy to assume it's all good. But I like to be safe. Plus, I'm excited to feel the difference. I feel it in my colon, and I can only imagine what it might feel like to cleanse my gall bladder.

I'm enjoying my 100% raw-ness at the moment. I'm reading supportive blogs, listening to podcasts, reading great books, and spending time with myself, reaping the benefits of being all raw. It finally feels 'normal' to be raw. We don't go out much, but I've stopped missing it. When I smell cooked food, I don't make gag noises or tell people how much I just LOOOOVVVEEE my salad. I enjoy the smell, I enjoy other people's enjoyment of their food, and I quietly love my salad. I don't promote eating raw because it feels good. My main MO, when I am trying to sell the benefits of raw, is to help people feel better, reduce their symptoms, help them get better sleep, etc. If cooked food didn't give people cancer, allergic reactions, poor sleep, etc. I wouldn't even suggest it to folks. I ate raw at first to detox and lose weight (well, weight loss wasn't a goal, but once it started happening, I was inspired to keep on). Once I learned about the massive health benefits, that's when I was convinced that it's a great idea no matter what your ailment. And if, after a month or two, your symptoms are alleviated (and with them usually goes the cause for them), then by all means, go have some pasta.

Anyway, I'm realizing that eating nuts and heavier foods is not really helping me at this point. I like it for the grounding effect, but honestly, it simply feels heavy. My most obvious symptom is itchy legs and mucous-y nose. I often have to blow my nose. It doesn't really run, but it collects stuff.

I'm feeling really good these days. I'm excited for all the energy that is swirling around my Reiki practice. I feel really inspired now, more than I used to feel. There are a lot of doors open, a lot of ideas filing in and out, and it seems that once I sit down to work, good stuff comes. I am feeling confident too. Yay!

It's a bird...it's a plane...no, wait, it's a GREEN SMOOTHIE

Oh wo-man! I just drank about 32 oz. of Green Smoothie and do I feel good? Why, yes I do! Wahoo!
I've also been reading really touching testimonials from folks who went to Annapurna Inn in Port Townsend, WA. Wow. I want to go now! I stayed there last summer but did not do any kind of cleansing (I was on a writing retreat at the time) but I was actually getting info for my friend, who at the time, was having gall bladder issues in a big way. I figured that if she went, then I'd go to to support her. Well, the friend had her gall bladder removed, but after going back to the site today, I've decided that there's no need for me to wait until I have major issues to get a good scrub of the insides.

Hubby also wants a good clean out so I'm setting my attention and intention on going in the summer so we have time to cleanse before that and so it's nice weather. Nicer, anyway. :)

I am feeling REALLY awesome today. Fridays are great days for me. I am feeling peaceful, happy, fulfilled. I feel confident and organized. I feel great.

This youtube makes my day every time I see it.

Also, this one makes me feel good too!

As I understand more about the Law of Attraction, I am happy that I can find things that make me vibrate higher. I don't have to do ANYTHING but feel good. The Universe, my Inner Being, the Source, does all the rest!

Sarah McLachlan made this video a few years ago and I am just really inspired by it, by her, and I love the song.

Well, that's enough multi-media from me...I remember, back in '02, when the words were the most entertaining part...ah, how times have changed!

An Occasion to Heal

I've been reading the Abraham-Hicks books and they are REALLY helpful. Especially around raw foods. They're helpful with everything actually, but I'm using the Law of Attraction and the Law of Allowing to help with my raw food lifestyle.

I went to the dentist on Monday. I take pride in my teeth, or at least I like them to look good and several months ago I noticed that one tooth was getting a cavity at the gum line. Yikes! So I went in to have it checked, thinking I was 'on top of it' and it wouldn't be so bad. Well, I had it filled, as well as getting a Caries test, which tells me if I have the bacteria that causes cavities (well, this is a good test if you don't ALREADY have cavities, of course). My numbers were pretty high, so the bacteria has been making itself at home, looking for new places to hide.

Unfortunately, my intuition knew right away that my love affair with dried fruit must come to an end. Dried fruit helped me transition from cooked food, continuously keeps me from eating cookies and chocolate, and overall, is easy to snack on. It also liked to hang around on my teeth for hours at a time (I don't brush after every meal) and feed the bacteria that helps create cavities. Also, I like to snack CONSTANTLY, which is worse than the sugar part. There was no time for my saliva to step up with its awesome minerals and fight my cavities and the bacteria.

At first, I was really bummed about the whole situation (I felt really bad and hazy after my DDS appt, but I think the Novocaine was new for me on the raw diet and didn't sit too well). I wasn't vibrating very high. I have a lot of cavities and while I try to take care of them as soon as I can, there they are anyway. I just finished Victoria B.'s "Green For Life" and that put things in perspective. I believe that I've had a mineral deficiency for a while. I drank electrolyte stuff (the kind that just has the minerals and NOT the sugar), but it got old. And I believe that my dehydration was from low to no minerals in my body. I eat a pretty sketchy raw diet when I am raw, and only recently have I begun my interest in green soups and smoothies.

Instead of continuing down the (negative) road of "Woe is me, I don't take care of my body well, I deserve ill-health, etc.," I decided to use my Law of Attraction skills and appreciate my body for showing me additional ways I can take care of myself, and my unborn children. It's one thing to be lackadaisical with my own body, but when growing a small child, I need help learning what signs my body makes to show me what I need. While the whole doctor thing is nice, it's also expensive and if my body can successfully help me figure out how to treat myself over the next year, when I am pregnant it won't be new to me. Dry mouth? Must be lack of minerals. Dandruff? Lack of minerals. Dark around my eyes? Lack of minerals. I am proud of myself and look forward to more occasions to learn about my body and its needs.

Creating the Vessel

I'm detoxing a bit these days. I haven't been 100% raw since last August. But luckily, I don't have too much to detox (it seems). I'm a bit congested in the mornings, but I limit my intake of food before noon so my body can continue the healing process it is so fond of.

I'm starting out 100% raw this year, not as a whimsical resolution to be forgotten in a month, but a commitment to myself and my future children to create the best vessel I can for them. I plan on being as raw as possible when I am pregnant (who knows what will happen? At least the intention will be there). I am creating the possibility of having an easy, enjoyable, and spiritually uplifting labor so that my child can have a good start to his/her physical life. I've wanted to have kids ever since I knew I could and it has been most important to me to be as conscious as possible. I know that babies are resilient and I have met several babies (they are adults now) who got the short end of the stick in various ways, but I'm interested in collaborating with my kids, regarding their arrival. They chose to come through me and my husband, and I'd like to be a good host to them. So that my body does not go into shock, I am preparing a year before we agreed to start trying. I'll be able to find out what works best so that when my WHOLE life changes, raw food will not be on the list of challenges/issues to "deal" with. Hopefully, it will be the tool I can use to deal with the other stuff. Should it even arise. :)

I just read (in record time) David Wolfe's Sunfood Diet Success System. It was a great book to read having had some experience with eating raw. He talks about spirituality, success, goals, Law of Attraction, nutrients, evolution, etc. VERY fascinating and easy to read. He has some clever poetry, but I started to skip it after a while. He recommends reading the book again and again, so I'll try and catch it the next time around. It's a nice book to own, even if I don't follow all his recommendations. It's a great reference tool.

I'm reading Ask and It Is Given (Abraham Teachings via Esther and Jerry Hicks) too. It's a great book. It is helping me figure out how to manifest my life. I am the creator of all that's in my life and if that's the case, there are some re-designs I need to look into. :)

I've been reading a lot about how I am busy enough in my own business that I don't need to bother with other people. It's a hard lesson for me. I think I feel obliged and charged with imparting all the knowledge I have accumulated to others whenever there is a space in the conversation. This is not the case, in reality. Both David Wolfe and the Abraham Teachings (and many other success philosophers) encourage me to work on my stuff and let others work on theirs. I've heard these lessons many times before and I'm sure I was frustrating to other folks who 'got it' before I did. And now I 'got it' many years later, after my OWN discovery.
It's important who I surround myself with. If I am bent on being with people who don't get (and don't WANT to get it, more importantly), then I will have created, externally, the part of me who likes to be stuck, resistant, blaming, angry, etc. But if I make better effort to spend time with folks who are into the growth factor, who want to support me and who are open to me supporting them, then I can move into a different light.

I won't go on, you get it. I feel like my life is changing fundamentally and subtly so that it's not a huge shock to my system. That's good. Of course, I did create it that way! :)

Raw-lidays

Okay, so the clever raw puns are a bit much...

I hope everyone had fun holidays. My husband and I did something different this year which was NOTHING!!! We had Christmas dinner with his folks, but other than that, we watched a lot of movies and slept as much as we could. We needed it.

There was a lot of action on the Give It To Me Raw site, lots of supportive help from Heidi (Raw Food, Right Now), and some local events in Seattle to keep the rawvolution alive!

I, myself, didn't do a the best job staying raw. More than that, I ate too many cookies. I spose that's the challenge I face when living with non-raw (and also non-vegetarian) housemates. It happens. Everyone got sick though, and once the wave of sickness was in the house, I doubled my efforts to at least drink more green smoothies.

One thing I have a problem with is that eating a green smoothie a day can be expensive. That's 7 heads of lettuce. I think I'll try to eat half a head a day, so I only have to get 3 heads. Now I just drink my salad, instead of eating it at work. I have slowed down on the nuts...they are a bit much and I don't necessarily feel any warmer when I eat them. The green smoothie DOES fill me up though, which of course lessens the amount of food I need to eat throughout the day. I'll continue to experiment with this different course in food consumption. I don't buy a lot of lettuce produce, but also, it doesn't get packaged in bags via Pioneer Organics, so it seems to be better on the environment packaging-wise.

For the most part, I'm back to 100% raw diet. I'd like to limit my nut consumption and increase the foods that reduce my hunger/sugar cravings. Those seem to kill me each time. Karen Knowler talks about the three things we need to go raw and stay raw:

1. Delicious Food


2. Ongoing Support


3. Inspiring Vision


I'm also committing to writing more on this blog so that I can keep track better. Sometimes I think I am writing for others, when usually I am writing for myself. Thanks to everyone for reading!